Showing Hospitality in Group Settings

 I wrote these notes up for myself as I was part of the hospitality squad in our co-op's high-school volunteer group (about 70 kids).
But I realize this is excellent advice for anyone in a social setting, from the school cafeteria to the basketball team. This is for those who have a heart for service, for the Lord, and for making others feel loved and welcomed. If those are desires of yours, these will not be burdensome chores, but rather helpful reminders of how to better do what you're already trying to do.

• Notice loners - that one girl who nobody talks to, that one guy who always sits with his mom or sits alone in the corner. We want [this group] to feel as familiar as a family; family means nobody gets left out or forgotten.
• Know people - it might seem impossible, but it's not; make an effort to at least know everyone's name by the end of the year (if not by the end of the semester). And keep an eye out for future hospitality leaders; what are their strengths, and how do they best serve?
• Welcome newcomers - this means more than an introduction. Ask questions, find out about their life, their home, family, past, likes and dislikes, future hopes or plans. Then introduce them to someone else. Most importantly, make sure they feel like they're a part of your group already; show just as much interest in them as in the friends you've known for years. Don't let yourself and your best friends be a clique.
• Break into cliques - notice groups that always sit together and jump into their midst. Find out they interact and why they always sit together. Always look for ways to connect members of a clique with people from outside their group. Ask a clique member to sit with you (away from their usual table), or with your friends.
• Get one-on-one - people with lots of good friends are sometimes hard to talk to personally. Seek a chance to meet them one-on-one and talk to them directly, individually.
• Be intentional - as the Spirit leads, seek people out. Make it a goal to have a good conversation with at least one person a week, getting beneath the surface of how-are-you-I'm-good.  Notice patterns of behavior (always late, sits alone, always with that one friend). Consider writing down people's names so you can remember them and love them better, and noting who you sit with each week so you can catch yourself if you're sitting with someone too much and thus neglecting others.
• Ask how you can pray - a great conversation starter, and something that really helps them and you and your relationship with God as you're intentional about praying for the people you interact with at [your group].
• Be fearless - love openly, be genuine, ignore insecurity, laugh at yourself, show people you're happy to see them, and make yourself vulnerable for the sake of exposing your genuine desire for a godly relationship of brotherly love.