Showing Hospitality in Group Settings

 I wrote these notes up for myself as I was part of the hospitality squad in our co-op's high-school volunteer group (about 70 kids).
But I realize this is excellent advice for anyone in a social setting, from the school cafeteria to the basketball team. This is for those who have a heart for service, for the Lord, and for making others feel loved and welcomed. If those are desires of yours, these will not be burdensome chores, but rather helpful reminders of how to better do what you're already trying to do.

• Notice loners - that one girl who nobody talks to, that one guy who always sits with his mom or sits alone in the corner. We want [this group] to feel as familiar as a family; family means nobody gets left out or forgotten.
• Know people - it might seem impossible, but it's not; make an effort to at least know everyone's name by the end of the year (if not by the end of the semester). And keep an eye out for future hospitality leaders; what are their strengths, and how do they best serve?
• Welcome newcomers - this means more than an introduction. Ask questions, find out about their life, their home, family, past, likes and dislikes, future hopes or plans. Then introduce them to someone else. Most importantly, make sure they feel like they're a part of your group already; show just as much interest in them as in the friends you've known for years. Don't let yourself and your best friends be a clique.
• Break into cliques - notice groups that always sit together and jump into their midst. Find out they interact and why they always sit together. Always look for ways to connect members of a clique with people from outside their group. Ask a clique member to sit with you (away from their usual table), or with your friends.
• Get one-on-one - people with lots of good friends are sometimes hard to talk to personally. Seek a chance to meet them one-on-one and talk to them directly, individually.
• Be intentional - as the Spirit leads, seek people out. Make it a goal to have a good conversation with at least one person a week, getting beneath the surface of how-are-you-I'm-good.  Notice patterns of behavior (always late, sits alone, always with that one friend). Consider writing down people's names so you can remember them and love them better, and noting who you sit with each week so you can catch yourself if you're sitting with someone too much and thus neglecting others.
• Ask how you can pray - a great conversation starter, and something that really helps them and you and your relationship with God as you're intentional about praying for the people you interact with at [your group].
• Be fearless - love openly, be genuine, ignore insecurity, laugh at yourself, show people you're happy to see them, and make yourself vulnerable for the sake of exposing your genuine desire for a godly relationship of brotherly love.

How God Used Homeschool to Prepare Me For Life

Just another day in geography (and geology, and natural science) class.

“I only have one request. Do something fun with your inheritance. Don’t spend it all on groceries.”

So Mrs. Zeller bought a motorcycle.

Imagine a middle-aged woman in flannel zipping up a rock-smattered road in the mountains of Colorado, with one grinning barefoot seven-year-old clinging to her back. Parking her metal horse at a house of alpine wood, she wades through chickens, corgis, and children to the kitchen – which her husband built – and breathes in fresh bread – which her husband threw together, no recipe. The younger children, barn chores done, stream to set the table with goat’s milk, goat’s cottage cheese, and venison. With breakfast they had fed on the Word of God, and now lunch involves a seminar on lawn mower safety for the boy’s new business. The boys are eleven and twelve. After lunch the family scatters - the children to help each other with school, the father to write tomorrow’s sermon, the mother to a million tasks which form the unseen roots of a great and fruitful tree.

When our family first met the Zellers, we could not understand what made them so perfect. The role models of homeschool, they lived out their faith. The siblings – all thirteen of them – actually treated each other as friends. They climbed mountains, built chapels, ground grain – in other words, lived. If the entire government had collapsed, I doubt they would have lost five minutes’ sleep. Mr. Zeller somehow served as a faithful pastor, a personal father, a romantic husband, and an enthusiastic teacher simultaneously. And as for Mrs. Zeller, ‘a wife of noble character’ was her biography.

She inspired my mother; he supported my father. The children befriended my siblings. What did they do for me? Well, they brought me to Christ. Now, credit where it’s due: my mother’s faith and love affected me first, and she alone walked me through the sinner’s prayer. But Noelle Zeller, then my one best friend in all the world, invited me to the Bible study where Jesus woke me up. I wanted to be like Noelle. She read the Bible and loved her siblings, showed me kindness and taught me important morals, such as, “Don’t say holy cow. God is holy, and he’s not a cow.”

When compared to her mother, Noelle faded into a paper doll. One evening at Bible study Mrs. Zeller told us the secret to her exceptional marriage. Once, she had prayed, “I am terrible at this. I’ve been engaged twice and I’m done. God, please just pick a husband for me. Let there be no romantic feelings involved.” Mere weeks later, a friend casually told her he thought she would make a great wife, and would she kindly consider it? After months of the Holy Spirit’s prodding, she agreed and married a man she was not in love with. But the rest is history; now their weekly date night is a given, and everyone agrees they are ‘a match made in heaven.’ Their story impacted me greatly. From today on, let Christ be the center of every marriage, and the Holy Spirit the instigator. Let virtue conquer romance and godliness conquer affection.

Although my family sometimes idealized the Zellers, we also caught glimpses of their flaws– a harsh word here, a disobedience there; they were human. But back then we saw so much of the Spirit’s work in their lives, and so little in ours. My parents sacrificed mountains, and did more for their children than I will ever know. But the fruits of their labor took years to emerge, while the fruits of the Zellers’ righteousness already drooped full and ripe. Sometimes the Zellers did seem perfect.

One time my mother could not help herself. She had to ask. “How do you do it?” Mrs. Zeller laughed. She replied with the name of her daughter, “Grace; pure grace.”

What more need be said? After all we had learned from their family, they were not the role models. They were only an arrow pointing to the true Model, the Perfect, the Giver of pure grace. To him I look; I follow his arrows. One day, Lord willing, I will be an arrow to the Living God for my husband, my children, and their children. With rough-cut homeschool, unblemished grace, and a pinch of faith, we will move mountains.

Breaking Bad Habits: You're Doing It Wrong

We hate that feeling.

'There you go,' says a voice in our head. 'You did it again. You've promised yourself 500 times you'd never do it again, and that's the 500th time you've blown it. There's no point in even trying now because you're such a failure; you'll never break this habit.'

We go through that cycle again and again. Depressed, discouraged, useless; our emotions tell us we'll never improve. That feeling can be very harmful indeed.

But what if we're thinking about it all wrong? What if breaking a bad habit is not an overnight decision?

Think about this; how are habits formed? The first time, for instance, you had that late night snack, did you instantly say to yourself, 'I have formed a bad habit. I'm a late night snacker. I'm stuck in this horrible habit and I'll never get out."?

No! If anything, you thought only, 'I had a late night snack today.'

Maybe the next night you thought, 'That was pretty nice, having those Doritos while I watched Netflix. I should have some again.'

After a couple of nights, you develop a regular craving at that time of night. You think maybe you're having them a little too often. But your stomach once again gets that certain ache, and your body's already heading towards the kitchen. 'One more time won't hurt.' Only after you've been regularly doing it for some considerable time can you call it a habit.

This is how habits are formed. What if they're broken in exactly the same way?

I'm sure you've heard it said before that our lives are full of decisions. Some are big decisions, such as who to marry or where to go to college. Some can be as small as what to wear today or what to eat for breakfast. But hold on a second. Why this mode of thinking? Why do we consider some choices so 'big' and others so 'small'? If I may, I'll venture to say this; there is no such thing as an 'insignificant decision.' And the way of thinking I've been describing is exactly the kind of thinking that not only creates bad habits, but keeps us enslaved to them.

The breaking of a bad habit is a two-step process.

1) Make a single, tiny, one-time choice.

2) Repeat.

It's just like forming any habit. It takes the smallest decision. No dramatic, solemn, once-and-for-all resolution, but simply one small choice, as if you were only making an exception, only deciding to break the pattern this one time.

But then you make that choice again. Forget that you made it the last time. Don't worry about making it next time. Just think about this time. This time, I'll say no. Just this once, I'll pass, I'll resist that urge.

It will take time. It will take patience. It will take, above all, a terrible memory and a great imagination. Don't think about the road ahead - that will overwhelm you with how far you have to go. Don't think about the steps behind - that will make you weary and longing for the struggle to end already. Overlook the times you've failed or fallen short -all that matters is this time.

Not this time.

Not this time.

Eventually, secretly, like the unperceivable underground growth of a mushroom's roots before it reveals its cap, the habit will crumble. It will break, and you might not even know it did. And, just as importantly, a new habit will form simultaneously. Guard yourself here - don't let a new bad habit form to replace the old. Don't go from picking your fingernails to picking your lips. Instead, form the good habit of perhaps folding your hands while your hands are at rest. Don't go from midnight snacking to midnight drinking. Unless... unless it's water. Heh. Whenever you take something away, it must be replaced by something better.

The small choices shape our habits, and the habits shape our lives. Bit by bit, choice by choice, our lives are changing, and maybe we don't even notice it. They can change for the better. And it starts with one tiny decision.

Not this time.

Platt (Eastern Hessian Dialect of German)

Platt (the P pronounced almost like a B) is a dialect of German found in the state of Hessen. It is an Eastern Hessian dialect. Platt is what it's called by the locals - it is not to be confused with other Hessian dialects. I learned these words directly from locals of the Rhön region; from the town of Tann and the village of Günters. Because it is a dialect, it has no written language. The words below are my interpretation of what I heard; they are not always consistent and should not be taken as Gospel. Furthermore, anyone learning these words should first have a solid understanding of basic German, not only because German and Platt are practically identical, but also because the Platt words are spelled according to German pronunciation, not English. Platt words should read like Hochdeutsch unless otherwise noted.

 Unlike Hochdeutsch, the Rs are almost always rolled.

Platt words are in one column                                Pronunciation notes in the other
Translation into Hochdeutsch
 _________________________________________________________________________________
 Names:

Koterin                                                                K=a bit like the 'ch' in kochen; O=rounder and
Kathrin/Katerina                                                 throatier than the usual Hochdeutsch 
                                                                            O, with almost a bit of the kochen 'ch' still in it; 
                                                                            T=almost a D; N=almost inaudible

Göndursh                                                            -

Günters (eine kleine Dorf in der

Nähe von Tann)

Dates:

Mondig                                                               O=round Platt O; D=(between T und D)

Montag

Densdig                                                              -

Denstag

Mitwoche                                                            T=emphasized, with almost an 'E' after it; W=very 

Mitwoche                                                            soft, more a W than a V; O=Platt O

Donnerdig                                                           O=Platt (with emphasis?)

Donnerstag

Fredig                                                                 -

Fritag

Sohnober                                                            S=as in Sam; B=very soft

Samstag

Sohndig                                                             S=as in Sam

Sohntag

Janar                                                                  -

Febar                                                                 E=empasized

Merz                                                                 -

Aprol                                                               O=emphasized

Mai                                                                  -

Juni                                                                  -

Juli                                                                   -

Aogost                                                             -

Saptembar                                                       First A=very emphasized; E=emphasized

Oktober                                                           First O=very emphasized; second O=emphasized

Novembar                                                       -

Dezambar                                                       E=very emphasized; first A=emphasized

Basics:

Ne Mo on'ne Frau                                         O in on'ne= O? U?

Ein Mann und eine Frau

Dau bist de Frau.                                          -

Du bist die Frau.

Dau bist ne Mo.                                            -

Du bist ein Mann.

Kölz on'ne Webb                                         O in on'ne= O? U?

Male und Female

Ein Pür                                                        -

Ein Paar

Mi Frau ond mi Kind                                  -

Meine Frau und mein Kind

Various Vocabulary/Phrases:

Gugemal bie donkle dos werd.                   First G=soft, almost "ch" as in kochen; second G=as in gut;

Guck mal wie dunkle das wird.                  N=very very soft

Wir zwei sitsen hier derum.                        -

Wir zwei sitzen hier.

Wir setse im Winderkarte.                          -         

Wir setsen im Wintergarten.

Das Mechez geht in die Kücher und          Z=very, very faint

kocht eppus.

Das [Mädchen?] geht in die Kücher

und kocht etwas.

Gödenach bis Morgen Fru.                        Ö=O as in hallo? Ü as in früh?

Gute Nacht bis Morgen fruh.

Hut                                                             -

Hoite

Winder                                                       -

Winter

Noch Mittog                                              -

Nach Mittag

Gottheilf                                                     -

Gesundheit

Nuff                                                            -

Up? Over? Upward? Above?

Nüb                                                            B=P-ish

Under? Below? Beneath? Down?

Sott                                                            -

Satt

Hall                                                            -

Hell

Hort                                                            H=rather like 'ch' as in kochen; R=silent

Hart

Höders                                                       S=very soft 'sh'

Klösen

Da Vögl                                                     -

Der Vogel

Me Heund                                                 -

Meine Hund

Brov Hoind                                              D='t' mixed with 'd'

Feine Hund

Fene Hoind                                              D='t' with 'd'

Feine Hund

If you want to learn a few more words, here's a lovely little collection.
Suggestions for improvement are welcome, but of course please source your information and cite your personal experience and authority.

What Is the Purpose of Life?

Copyright someone else. Not me.

Ahh, the age old question. I’m not going to talk about it because it’s been talked about millions of times through the ages. Instead, I’d like to cut straight into the question itself;

Why does life need a purpose?

Honestly. No one answers this question because it’s engrained into our minds that life needs a purpose. If life doesn’t have a purpose then… what’s the point? Life doesn’t matter if it has no meaning. Meaning, mattering, purpose, point; it just kind of speaks for itself. Purpose can stand alone. Life needs a purpose or it would be. . . purposeless.

Why are we like this? Why do the minds of human beings know from birth the value of purpose? Ok, so maybe it’s there so we can survive. If we didn’t have purpose we’d all just give up and die out. We have this innate sense that there’s a purpose to life and we need to seek it, and that’s what keeps us going.
But what’s the purpose of survival? No, purpose can’t be there for survival alone, because survival needs a purpose. What’s the point of survival? Pointless things get thrown out. Anyone with a tidy bedroom knows that. If it doesn’t clean the house or fill your belly or cheer you up or mend the rip or accomplish anything whatsoever, it’s out of here. Why don’t we just shrivel up and die? Granted, that wouldn’t be very pleasant or fun, but it doesn’t matter either way if life has no purpose.

That brings me to another thing. We as humans need to be happy. In the end, don’t all our goals point towards fulfillment or happiness of some kind? But why are we like this?

Why do we need to be happy?

Why can’t all human beings just settle down and soak in absolute depression and despair? What’s the purpose of having fun? Our body tells us we need to be happy, but does happiness have a point? The harder we try to be happy, the less happy we are. The more times you watch that movie you love, the less you experience the amusement you felt the first time you watched it. Drugs become less effective every time they’re used. Why don’t we just give up, since happiness seems so unattainable?

No, we’ve got to be happy. If we let ourselves get totally gloomy and broken, we’ll kill ourselves off. And we can't have that, now, can we? So maybe happiness just comes down to survival again. But…. Does this seem familiar? It's almost as if I'm running in circles.

This is a question for you, world.

Why do we need a purpose?

I Know, I Know.

A spring in her step and I know April's near,
I know summer's come when her freckles appear.
A glow in her cheeks and I know autumn's dawn,
But winter sinks in and I know she's gone.
-KW

Hilf

Nicht lustig.
Nicht gesund.
Immer traurig.
Böse Mund.

Will sterben.
Mich heilen.
Not dadrin.
Mich weilen.

Not funny.
Not okay.
Always sad.
Evil face.

Would die.
Heal inside me.
Dark sigh.
Sanctify me.