Showing Hospitality in Group Settings

 I wrote these notes up for myself as I was part of the hospitality squad in our co-op's high-school volunteer group (about 70 kids).
But I realize this is excellent advice for anyone in a social setting, from the school cafeteria to the basketball team. This is for those who have a heart for service, for the Lord, and for making others feel loved and welcomed. If those are desires of yours, these will not be burdensome chores, but rather helpful reminders of how to better do what you're already trying to do.

• Notice loners - that one girl who nobody talks to, that one guy who always sits with his mom or sits alone in the corner. We want [this group] to feel as familiar as a family; family means nobody gets left out or forgotten.
• Know people - it might seem impossible, but it's not; make an effort to at least know everyone's name by the end of the year (if not by the end of the semester). And keep an eye out for future hospitality leaders; what are their strengths, and how do they best serve?
• Welcome newcomers - this means more than an introduction. Ask questions, find out about their life, their home, family, past, likes and dislikes, future hopes or plans. Then introduce them to someone else. Most importantly, make sure they feel like they're a part of your group already; show just as much interest in them as in the friends you've known for years. Don't let yourself and your best friends be a clique.
• Break into cliques - notice groups that always sit together and jump into their midst. Find out they interact and why they always sit together. Always look for ways to connect members of a clique with people from outside their group. Ask a clique member to sit with you (away from their usual table), or with your friends.
• Get one-on-one - people with lots of good friends are sometimes hard to talk to personally. Seek a chance to meet them one-on-one and talk to them directly, individually.
• Be intentional - as the Spirit leads, seek people out. Make it a goal to have a good conversation with at least one person a week, getting beneath the surface of how-are-you-I'm-good.  Notice patterns of behavior (always late, sits alone, always with that one friend). Consider writing down people's names so you can remember them and love them better, and noting who you sit with each week so you can catch yourself if you're sitting with someone too much and thus neglecting others.
• Ask how you can pray - a great conversation starter, and something that really helps them and you and your relationship with God as you're intentional about praying for the people you interact with at [your group].
• Be fearless - love openly, be genuine, ignore insecurity, laugh at yourself, show people you're happy to see them, and make yourself vulnerable for the sake of exposing your genuine desire for a godly relationship of brotherly love.

Life Advice #1: Flirt Shamelessly

No, I don't mean the cute guy meets cute girl kind of flirting. I don't mean, 'do you think I'm pretty', 'don't you want to kiss me' flirting.
I mean, don't hold back words of love.
If you feel affection for someone, male or female, friend or family, express it.
I don't know how many times I've wanted to tell someone they're amazing and kept quiet because I thought they'd think I was being over the top, fake, weird, gooshy, flirty, or just an awkward scum who's terrible at expressing herself.
Honestly...
who cares? 
I am so done caring. I've been caring since I was seven and quite frankly I'm wearied of it.
I don't think we were put on this earth for such a short breath of time just so we could love people and then hold back. Words are powerful, guys. I want so badly to emphasize that. I might even have to write another post about it.
Look, it's true you can come off the wrong way by pouring words of affection and admiration on them. But that should never stop you. Be thoughtful; put yourself in their shoes and phrase it so that it will come across as genuine; you want them to hear only an open, artless compliment from the mouth of a friend. But if you overthink it and double guess yourself and hesitate, you'll end up sounding fake anyway, so in the end, just... say the kind words that are on your heart. Let them know they are loved. People need that. Even if 90% of people you compliment just get awkward and disturbed, it's worth it for the 10% whose day you absolutely made. 

How To Work Harder

It's so frustrating! I'm just not working hard enough. I know I can do better than this. How do I get myself working faster when I don't have the strength? How do I improve?

You need motivations. That's plural; but it only takes one hand to count them.

1) Purpose - Why am I even doing this? Does it matter? What's the significance? Is it meaningful?

2) Goal - When I'm on a long run, I've found that seeing the end of the jogging trail always gives me an extra burst of energy. This applies to all areas of life. Your eyes need to be fixed on not only the future, but the end. That will give you something to strive for and make the work worth it.

3) Drive - Who or what is compelling you? Sometimes our feet drag and we feel we need someone to literally push us from behind. This is what keeps you going even when it gets tough, when it hurts or you don't want to.

4) Urgency - A time limit. Anything from "I need to do this before I die" to "I need to do this before the day is over."

5) Focus - This requires self-control. That means not getting up for that snack, not taking that break, not allowing your thoughts to drift and not allowing more enjoyable things inhibit progress.


That being said; if you are the type of person who often gets told 'you work too hard,' 'you run people over' 'you act like work is more important than people':
First of all, join my sad club.
Second of all... I might need to write a future blog post for you?

Surprised by Joy

I have to share this poem. It left me in tears. 

Surprised by Joy
     BY WILLIAM WORDSWORTHSurprised by joy—impatient as the Wind
I turned to share the transport—Oh! with whom
But Thee, long buried in the silent Tomb,
That spot which no vicissitude can find?
Love, faithful love, recalled thee to my mind—
But how could I forget thee?—Through what power,
Even for the least division of an hour,
Have I been so beguiled as to be blind
To my most grievous loss!—That thought’s return
Was the worst pang that sorrow ever bore,
Save one, one only, when I stood forlorn,
Knowing my heart’s best treasure was no more;
That neither present time, nor years unborn
Could to my sight that heavenly face restore. 

This, by the way, is the poem after which Lewis named his autobiography of faith. Read it; it will change your life. 

Defining Love

A couple of words that get thrown around a lot are love and religion. They almost seem to have a different definition for every person, and for some they seem to have multiple definitions.
We say "I love you" to our spouse, but then say "I love Doritos" or "I love Tony Stark."
We say "I'm not religious," but then we say we believe in God. Or perhaps we call ourselves "religious," but it's only on Sundays and it's not personal, it's just a moral code.
How can we know the true definition of these words?
Since God is the ultimate source for truth, and in fact is the Truth, let's see how he defines them.
Let's look at love.

Love
(v) Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not rude or proud. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful, it does not rejoice at evil but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things; in other words, it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. Whoever does not know love does not know God, because God is love.

That's the short definition, anyway. If you want the full one, go read the Bible. ;)